Customer Service Information |
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Sorry, No Customer Service After 4:00 P.M.
A few months ago, I wrote about ingenious styles of customer service that every business should know about, mostly because their employees were inflicting them on their customers. For instance, I warned about "in your face customer service" and "run for cover customer service", two equally effective opposites...like pouring too much sugar on your Cheerios one day, and pouring too much cayenne pepper on them the next. I also warned about "do-it-yourself-extortion", "consistent filibuster customer service", "Invisible Man customer service", "present-at-attendance customer service", "customer service on steroids", and "satirical customer service". You will have to read about these clever anti-sales pitches at:
We were on our annual honeymoon, a three-day escape from parenthood to lick our wounds and give our tattered spirits a chance to recuperate. To tell the truth, the weekend was more like a marriage encounter. It gave me a chance to find out just who is that strange woman passing me in the hallway at full throttle, pinching her nose and radiating the sweet smell of mushy diaper as she whooshes past. And it gave her the chance to discover the even stranger man who blows a muffled "Oof!" every time Little Lady invents a new "Hop On Pop" dance move. Check-in at the fairly expensive Resort-on-the-Edge-of-Nowhere was 4:00 p.m., and it was made very clear that we would not be welcome until then. It's always an ominous sign when a resort begins by warning you when you will not be welcome, so we arrived at 4:00 p.m.. At 6:30 we stopped by the front desk on the way to dinner to request an additional pillow. Being in a sleep-related establishment in, we figured there would an off-chance that this request might be reasonable. Wrong. The desk clerk could not provide a pillow because the laundry department closed at 4:00, and he had no way of accessing anything that was not right at the desk, he told us with a deadpan face. "But we were not allowed to check in until 4:00 p.m.," I protested. At this point, Deadpan Clerk pulled from under the desk a box big enough to hold almost half a pillow, and started rummaging helpfully through it to see if he could find a pillow. He could not, he announced. In the hospitality business, folks should know how to treat people hospitably, or so I thought. If that were the case, I suppose I would never have written about Hotel Stella and the Wicked Witch of Lido ( http://www.thehappyguy.com/Hotel-Stella.html ) or about the paper-thin walls in many hotels these days ( http://www.thehappyguy.com/hotel-jokes.html ). OK, so the latter was largely fiction, a desperate search for a column topic, but the Hotel Stella torture story was 100% true. Back at the fairly expensive Resort-on-the-Edge-of-Nowhere, Deadpan Clerk proceeded to assure us that we were not the only ones he mistreated. Phew, what a relief! In fact, just a few minutes earlier a man had come looking for an iron for his wife (probably for his wife's dress, as men rarely iron their wives, but Deadpan Clerk never clarified that). He proudly related how he had explained to the man that irons were not available after 4:00 p.m., unless he had one in his magic little box. "But we were not allowed to check in until 4:00 p.m.," the man protested. He sent the man back to inform his wife that she will have to attend the dinner theatre in a dress looking like a prune (the dress, not the wife...at least, not that we were aware of). NOTE: Although no missing persons report has been filed, we did not see the man again. Deadpan Clerk was proudly informed us that he had sent the man away without an iron. Apparently we did not rank high enough to deserve even their very worst customer service. I should end this story on a happy note. But how? I escaped alive, along with the strange woman I pass every day in the hallway. It turns out she is my wife, go figure. And a most compassionate wife, too...she even helped Deadpan Clerk escape alive, too, at least until I return to the fairly expensive Resort-on-the-Edge-of-Nowhere. About The Author David Leonhardt is a humor columnist: http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.html Read more satirical articles and funny stories: http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/humor articles.html Read more personal growth articles: http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/self-actualization-articles.html Read more travel articles: http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/travel-articles.html
MORE RESOURCES: Amazon axed more than 100 customer service managers in CEO Andy Jassy's latest job cuts Yahoo Finance When the customer is not always right Financial Times Impersonal service: OSU research identifies when consumers prefer bots over real people cleveland.com NTTA customer service, Tarrant County district clerk spar over mistaken charge The Dallas Morning News Senate passes bill improving air safety and service for travelers, a day before FAA law expires The Associated Press How did customer service get so bad? Financial Times Oregon employment officials promise more effective service with reduced phone line hours Oregon Public Broadcasting CCC Named a Stevie® Award Winner for Customer Service Department of the Year in the 2024 American Business ... Business Wire Cherokee Indian Hospital Authority opens new PRC Customer Service Desk Cherokee One Feather Softbank commits to AI customer service Tech Monitor USA TODAY Names Graybar One of America's Customer Service Champions 2024 InvestorsObserver Realtor Lammert delivers customer service from the inside out Leader Publications ‘Honesty, integrity, and doing things right:’ Les Schwab Tire Center makes customer service a priority Canon City Daily Record SoftBank Corp aims to help call centre workers by 'softening' angry customer calls with AI - Reuters No, GPT-4o isn't going to kill teaching or customer service Business Insider How operational excellence transforms financial services | Process Excellence Network Process Excellence Network New York State Alerts New Yorkers of Temporary Electronic Benefits Transfer (EBT) Outage on Sunday, May 19, for ... Office of Temporary and Disability Assistance The importance of customer service, growth, and community engagement – Jeff Rosen | Rosen Automotive Group CBT Automotive News Company Webinars; POS, Non-Agency Products; STRATMOR and Customer Service; Freddie and Fannie News Mortgage News Daily Availity Wins Two Bronze Stevie® Awards in 2024 Stevie Awards for Sales & Customer Service Business Wire Verizon sharpens GenAI tools to impro... Mobile World Live What Consumers are Saying About AI and Customer Service Customer Think Verizon (VZ) Enhances Customer Service With GenAI Integration Zacks Investment Research ICICI Bank has an important warning on 'customer service frauds': Shares these tips to spot such scams The Times of India Opinion: If it's not dead already, customer service is certainly on life support • Asheville Watchdog Asheville Watchdog Frequently asked questions and customer service CSPI Newsroom How customer service factors into the claims experience Canadian Underwriter Poll workers emphasize election confidence, customer service • Indiana Capital Chronicle Indiana Capital Chronicle Top Banks Offering 24/7 Customer Service in 2024 Business Insider Customer Service & Support Hillsborough County (.gov) They've got your back: Meet American's system customer service managers - American Airlines Newsroom They've got your back: Meet American's system customer service managers American Airlines Newsroom Verizon unveils human-assisted GenAI tools for customer service Telecompaper EN Rebuilding the IRS Improves Customer Service and Reduces the Tax Gap Center For American Progress The Marriott Maze: Navigating Customer Service Over $11, When Does It Stop Being Worth It? View from the Wing Senate Passes FAA Bill on Air Safety and Customer Service – The Presidential Prayer Team The Presidential Prayer Team Porsche claims first place for customer service among premium car owners in J.D. Power Study Porsche Newsroom AI enhances flexibility and efficiency for customer service centers, new research reveals | Binghamton News Binghamton University How AI can enhance customer service The Keyword | Google Product and Technology News The correct airline customer service numbers to help avoid scams The Washington Post Forbes Recognizes Regions Bank for Best Customer Service Regions Financial Corporation Customer Assistance Programs DC Water Lee Michaels’ Scott Berg: How to make unhappy customers happy Greater Baton Rouge Business Report How to contact Amazon UK Customer Service About Amazon.co.uk Customer Support GE Aerospace Contact SEA Customer Care portseattle.org Buccaneers Continue to Excel in Season Pass Member Customer Service Experience, Voted No. 1 for Sixth ... Buccaneers.com |
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